Shotgun Divorce LP

by SHORTPANTS ROMANCE

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VVLP 001
COPYRIGHT SOCAN/ASCAP 2011

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released 05 February 2011

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Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Orthopedic Shoes
I've got these orthopedic shoes
Etched out of clay and stained with booze
They take me to the edge of town
We step on mice and weeding gowns
Scrape off the dirt, the ifs, the buts
Scrape off the please forget me nots
Write in dirt, in ifs, in buts
Write it in beds and parking lots
I've got these orthopedic shoes
Laced up with pride and little sense
Passed on like jewellery or romance
Father and son and master plans
They take me to the edge of town
Reclaim our tools, reclaim our crown
Write in dirt, in ifs, in buts
Write it in beds and parking lots
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Low End
I need a man made of sticks and stones
Moaned sister Hydra on the telephone
I’ll be your minstrel, I’ll sing you songs
Teach me dances while I strum along
I’ll build you a house full of closets
And I’ll be free like a fish in a net
And I’ll be still and quiet in my bed
Still and quiet like a nuclear warhead
‘Till death do us part, ‘till death do us part
Why don’t you prove you’re smart
I knew it from the start
Your rollercoaster heart is tearing us apart
I have no gift to bring
That’s fit to give the Queen... (bis)
‘Till death do us part, till death do us part
Your sordid crafted art won me a Purple Heart
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - What Would the Ghost of Shirley Temple Say?
What would the ghost of Shirley Temple
Say if she came back?
She’d say ‘I ain’t dead yet’
And then she’d cast a spell,
Ring a bell and bid you farewell
And leave you alone all by yourself,
So you can curse out loud
The ghost of Shirley Temple
Just came back and she ain’t dead
She’s burning bridges, locking doors
And she won’t let you in
She’s carving melodies
Across her arm for you to sing
Precious melodies across her arm
For you to sing
Track Name: Lady Shakespeare
Lady Shakespeare on Lesbos Island;
She blew a kiss to Candy Darling
They wrote 150 songs
And then asked me to sing along
I really tried, but I couldn’t
I fell asleep after an hour or so
I fell asleep after an hour or so
Oh sure it feels good to say ‘I want’
And sure it feels good to ‘knock one down’
But baby blue you’re on the run
Feeling ashamed just like a pregnant nun
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Heatwave
I see it in your face,
I see it in your face,
Your quiet little face,
Your quiet little face,
I see it in your face,
I see it in your face,
The lies that you embrace,
The lies that you embrace
Enjoy, the Heat...wave!
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Needles
The world is red,
she thinks she'll lose her head
The world is red,
she thinks she'll lose her head
Do you believe in things you tell yourself?
Do you believe in things that you inhale?
The world was red,
she thought she'd lose her head
The world was red,
she thought she'd lose her head
Do you believe in things you tell yourself?
Do you believe in things that you inhale?
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Dish it Out
I’ve got a pen, I’ve got a check book
You’ve got a hand that now looks like a hook
Go buy a fridge and buy some magnets
To spell out all your crossroad blues
Buy a lampshade and a three-legged table
A Persian cat who’ll purr for you to fill his bowl
And who won’t crawl under your table
‘Cause that’s where Caïn once left Abel
Talk me into getting you a pair of ice skates
A pocket mirror and a pair of shades
And plastic food and blunt-edged cutlery
To feed your ego and sharpen your agony
And buy a hat, it might come in handy
The weatherman has had one too many
Keep your receipts, they’ll come in handy
They’re short of coal on the steamboat of modesty
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Van Nuys
Negative thinking and might makes right;
Numbers and cannibals
Billions of kites tied to one string;
One string for both of your shoes
Volcanic lungs to scream and shout;
Shout that daddy's out
Left you alone dear dummy son;
Chasing your own tail
Keep feeding the pigeon, feeding the pigeon;
Lunch 'be ready soon
A tongue of fire and a breath that reeks;
Of superego
Home is not a house in the eyes;
Of a queen of Van Nuys
A house is not so nice;
In the eyes of a queen of Van Nuys
O happy days when Midas walked;
Walked and touched my soft spot
That day made history and I've been,
Bent in two since
The man in leather is sending his,
Sending his boy adrift
Castrated child is father to,
The man with ballsy riffs
And life is hard as carving names, names in wet cement
Leaving a trace, just one lament, in wet cement
Ego is at best dead in the shell...
Supply and demand
And odds are paralyzed, waiting for,
The next queen of Van Nuys
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Flesh of my Flesh
Goodbye dear child
I’ve grown so tired
Dreams gone sour will multiply
The kitchen floor
Our sins, our sores
No metaphor
No metaphor
Trenches and swords
And I adore
Trenches and swords
With stiffening fingers
I’ll hold on tight
With both feet flat on the ground,
I’ll hold on tight
No precipice to fall off from
A cheap toy light guarding the fort
Track Name: Shortpants Romance - Sabotage
It tickles you my boy
It eats you up and it destroys
The turquoise and the gold
And all the stories you should have told
The calm before the storm
Before you blow up the aquarium
Young breed of a town
That's out of light and out of sound
Serve your head up on a plate
So those who doubt can contemplate
So the Thomases of the universe
Can watch out for the vicious curse
A heavy cross to bear
A life that sickness couldn't spare
A heavy cross, an empty stare
The tension that's too much to bear