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Shotgun Divorce LP

by SHORTPANTS ROMANCE

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1.
I've got these orthopedic shoes Etched out of clay and stained with booze They take me to the edge of town We step on mice and weeding gowns Scrape off the dirt, the ifs, the buts Scrape off the please forget me nots Write in dirt, in ifs, in buts Write it in beds and parking lots I've got these orthopedic shoes Laced up with pride and little sense Passed on like jewellery or romance Father and son and master plans They take me to the edge of town Reclaim our tools, reclaim our crown Write in dirt, in ifs, in buts Write it in beds and parking lots
2.
I need a man made of sticks and stones Moaned sister Hydra on the telephone I’ll be your minstrel, I’ll sing you songs Teach me dances while I strum along I’ll build you a house full of closets And I’ll be free like a fish in a net And I’ll be still and quiet in my bed Still and quiet like a nuclear warhead ‘Till death do us part, ‘till death do us part Why don’t you prove you’re smart I knew it from the start Your rollercoaster heart is tearing us apart I have no gift to bring That’s fit to give the Queen... (bis) ‘Till death do us part, till death do us part Your sordid crafted art won me a Purple Heart
3.
What would the ghost of Shirley Temple Say if she came back? She’d say ‘I ain’t dead yet’ And then she’d cast a spell, Ring a bell and bid you farewell And leave you alone all by yourself, So you can curse out loud The ghost of Shirley Temple Just came back and she ain’t dead She’s burning bridges, locking doors And she won’t let you in She’s carving melodies Across her arm for you to sing Precious melodies across her arm For you to sing
4.
5.
Lady Shakespeare on Lesbos Island; She blew a kiss to Candy Darling They wrote 150 songs And then asked me to sing along I really tried, but I couldn’t I fell asleep after an hour or so I fell asleep after an hour or so Oh sure it feels good to say ‘I want’ And sure it feels good to ‘knock one down’ But baby blue you’re on the run Feeling ashamed just like a pregnant nun
6.
I see it in your face, I see it in your face, Your quiet little face, Your quiet little face, I see it in your face, I see it in your face, The lies that you embrace, The lies that you embrace Enjoy, the Heat...wave!
7.
The world is red, she thinks she'll lose her head The world is red, she thinks she'll lose her head Do you believe in things you tell yourself? Do you believe in things that you inhale? The world was red, she thought she'd lose her head The world was red, she thought she'd lose her head Do you believe in things you tell yourself? Do you believe in things that you inhale?
8.
I’ve got a pen, I’ve got a check book You’ve got a hand that now looks like a hook Go buy a fridge and buy some magnets To spell out all your crossroad blues Buy a lampshade and a three-legged table A Persian cat who’ll purr for you to fill his bowl And who won’t crawl under your table ‘Cause that’s where Caïn once left Abel Talk me into getting you a pair of ice skates A pocket mirror and a pair of shades And plastic food and blunt-edged cutlery To feed your ego and sharpen your agony And buy a hat, it might come in handy The weatherman has had one too many Keep your receipts, they’ll come in handy They’re short of coal on the steamboat of modesty
9.
Negative thinking and might makes right; Numbers and cannibals Billions of kites tied to one string; One string for both of your shoes Volcanic lungs to scream and shout; Shout that daddy's out Left you alone dear dummy son; Chasing your own tail Keep feeding the pigeon, feeding the pigeon; Lunch 'be ready soon A tongue of fire and a breath that reeks; Of superego Home is not a house in the eyes; Of a queen of Van Nuys A house is not so nice; In the eyes of a queen of Van Nuys O happy days when Midas walked; Walked and touched my soft spot That day made history and I've been, Bent in two since The man in leather is sending his, Sending his boy adrift Castrated child is father to, The man with ballsy riffs And life is hard as carving names, names in wet cement Leaving a trace, just one lament, in wet cement Ego is at best dead in the shell... Supply and demand And odds are paralyzed, waiting for, The next queen of Van Nuys
10.
Goodbye dear child I’ve grown so tired Dreams gone sour will multiply The kitchen floor Our sins, our sores No metaphor No metaphor Trenches and swords And I adore Trenches and swords With stiffening fingers I’ll hold on tight With both feet flat on the ground, I’ll hold on tight No precipice to fall off from A cheap toy light guarding the fort
11.
It tickles you my boy It eats you up and it destroys The turquoise and the gold And all the stories you should have told The calm before the storm Before you blow up the aquarium Young breed of a town That's out of light and out of sound Serve your head up on a plate So those who doubt can contemplate So the Thomases of the universe Can watch out for the vicious curse A heavy cross to bear A life that sickness couldn't spare A heavy cross, an empty stare The tension that's too much to bear

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VVLP 001
COPYRIGHT SOCAN/ASCAP 2011

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released February 5, 2011

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SHORTPANTS ROMANCE Montréal, Québec

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